Is this how I die? ridiculed and laughed at, wearing clown shoes.
Is this how I die? furious and reckless, sick with booze.
How did I live? I taste every wasted minute.
Every time, I turned away from the things that might have healed me.
How long have I been sleeping? Is this how I die?
Frightened like a child, lazy and numb,
Is this how I die? pretending and preposterous, and dumb.
How did I live? Was I kind enough and good enough?
Did I love enough? Did I ever look up
and see the moon, the stars and the sky?
Oh why have I been sleeping?
They say we are asleep, until we fall in love,
We are children of dust and ashes.
But when we fall in love we wake up,
And we are a God and angels weep,
But if I die here tonight I die in my sleep.
All of my life I spent searching the words,
Of poets and saints and prophets and kings.
And now at the end all I know that I’ve learned,
Is that all that I know is I don’t know a thing!
So easy to close off, place the blame outside,
Hiding in my room at night, so terrified.
All the things I could have been,
But I never had the nerve.
Life and love I don’t deserve.
So all right, all right, I’ve had my time,
Close my eyes, let the death bells chime.
Bury me in burgundy, I just don’t care!
Nothing’s left.. I’ve looked everywhere!
Is this how I die?
Was there ever any other way my life could be?
Is this how I die? Such a slough of feelings inside of me.
But then why am I screaming? Why am I shaking?
Oh God, was there something that I missed?
Did I squander my divinity? Was happiness within me the whole time?
They say we are asleep until we fall in love,
And I’m so ready, to wake up now.
I wanna wake up, don’t let me die while I’m like this.
I wanna wake up, God, don’t let me die while I’m like this..
Please let me wake up now, God, don’t let me die while I’m like this!
I’m ready, I’m ready, To wake up…